Glory Gale of the North, living in Armenian Glendale, proprietor of nice things and adoring of one boy from the Bay. Obedient worker of television and obsessively infatuated with night-timing and lounge performers.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
My mom just sent an email asking if today was any better than Friday.
Last Friday I called her just to see what she was doing and then cried like I was homeless and unemployed for nearly 50 minutes. 52 minutes. Well, 52 and some change.
I don’t know what was worse during the conversation, that she used the phrase ‘before you get much older’ or that she said I’ve been ‘difficult to talk to’ because since Thanksgiving any thing upsets me. And for hours after my head still felt like it was swimming.
Probably because it felt like my mom just didn’t want to talk to me, then that don’t-have-control-of-my-own-life feeling set in, the ‘older’ part is hard, the starting over overwhelms me and ultimately not coming out with any better solution or advice, even though I’m not quite sure I was looking for any, didn’t help.
Even worse was later as I tried to pull myself out of the pits of mental hell said something that insulted someone very important to me which brought me back to wallowing in self doubt that even conversation is something I can’t do right anymore.
I don’t know…
I’ve tried for hours to write how I’ve felt since Friday… guess I’m not ready yet.
